Why do I feel uncomfortable and anxious as soon as I leave my boyfriend, and what should I do about it?

Jan 31, 2024 Source: Cainiu Health
Dr. Yang Ziqi
Introduction
Generally, the reasons for feeling distressed and anxious when away from a boyfriend may include emotional dependence, self-doubt, separation anxiety disorder, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc. In daily life, one can learn some anxiety management techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, and relaxation exercises. These techniques can help gradually calm the mind and reduce feelings of anxiety.

Generally, the reasons for feeling distressed and anxious when separating from a boyfriend may include emotional dependence, self-doubt, separation anxiety disorder, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and others. If experiencing discomfort, it is recommended to seek medical help promptly for proper treatment. Detailed explanations are as follows:

1. Emotional Dependence

In a relationship, both partners may develop emotional dependence, forming a strong reliance on each other. When this dependence is disrupted, individuals may experience feelings of loss, unease, distress, and anxiety. It is recommended to set personal goals and plans to stay focused and engaged in meaningful activities. This can help redirect attention and enhance a sense of purpose and fulfillment in life.

2. Self-Doubt

After parting from a boyfriend, one might begin questioning their own worth and attractiveness. Such self-doubt can lead to anxiety, fear, low self-esteem, and further anxiety. It is advisable to focus on personal strengths, achievements, and values. Writing down positive affirmations daily, emphasizing one's strengths and accomplishments, can help boost self-esteem and confidence, thereby reducing feelings of self-doubt.

3. Separation Anxiety Disorder

Separation anxiety disorder may stem from traumatic experiences during childhood. Individuals with this condition often develop intense dependence on close relationships, as they are accustomed to having a partner present to provide emotional support and a sense of security. Once separation occurs, patients may feel they have lost this support and security, leading to symptoms such as anxiety, distress, irritability, and sadness. Treatment may include medications such as fluvoxamine maleate tablets, olanzapine tablets, or fluoxetine hydrochloride capsules, taken as prescribed by a doctor.

4. Depression

The development of depression is closely linked to personality traits. Individuals with depression often feel lonely and isolated from others. After breaking up with a boyfriend, they may feel even lonelier and struggle to adapt to social environments, experiencing symptoms such as sadness, crying, distress, and anxiety. Medications such as maprotiline hydrochloride tablets, venlafaxine hydrochloride sustained-release capsules, or mirtazapine tablets may be used under a doctor’s guidance for treatment.

5. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

OCD may be influenced by genetic factors. Individuals with OCD often have a strong need for control and fear of uncertainty. After separating from a boyfriend, they may face an unpredictable future and situations beyond their control, which can heighten feelings of anxiety, distress, fear, and obsessive thoughts due to the uncertainty and lack of control. Medications such as sertraline hydrochloride capsules, fluoxetine hydrochloride capsules, or paroxetine hydrochloride tablets may be taken as directed by a physician for treatment.

In daily life, learning anxiety management techniques—such as deep breathing, meditation, and relaxation exercises—can help gradually calm the mind and reduce feelings of anxiety.