How to counsel a child who is depressed and self-harming
Nov 14, 2025
Source: Cainiu Health
Dr. Zhou Xiaofeng
Introduction
Guidance and support for children experiencing depression and self-harm generally involves building trust, listening to their emotions, providing positive guidance, professional intervention, and creating a supportive environment. Building trust: Approach the child with gentleness, avoid blaming them for self-harming behaviors, and use empathetic statements such as "I know you're going through a lot of pain" to convey understanding. This helps the child feel accepted and more willing to openly share their inner suffering.
Guiding a child who is depressed and self-harming generally involves building trust, listening to their emotions, providing positive guidance, professional intervention, and creating a supportive environment. The specifics are as follows:
1. Build trust: Approach the child with a gentle attitude, avoiding blame for self-harming behaviors. Use empathetic phrases such as "I know you're feeling very upset" to convey understanding, helping the child feel accepted and more willing to openly share their inner pain.
2. Listen to emotions: Patiently listen to the child’s expressions without interrupting or judging. Show attentiveness through nodding and eye contact, allowing the child to fully release negative emotions and preventing emotional buildup from worsening depression.
3. Provide positive guidance: Acknowledge the child's strengths and progress, for example, saying, "It's great that you got up on time today." Help them build self-confidence and guide them to focus on positive aspects of life, such as beautiful scenery or warm moments.
4. Professional intervention: Promptly consult a psychologist or mental health counselor. Utilize professional expertise to assess and diagnose the condition, and develop an individualized support plan to help the child overcome depression through scientifically grounded methods.
5. Create a supportive environment: Maintain a relaxed and harmonious family atmosphere, minimize arguments and conflicts, and spend quality time with the child in outdoor activities such as walking or hiking. This helps the child relax both mentally and physically in nature, alleviating depressive symptoms.
If a child shows signs of self-harm, parents should closely monitor their emotional changes, safely store sharp objects to prevent further self-injury, and actively cooperate with professional treatment.
